Laying a foundation
Filling the bottomless hole
Not fillable? What’s the meaning behind this? Why do I use this term to describe personal matters?
A not-fillable hole is something I call a bottomless hole, no matter what you do the hole still remains. You can pour as much gravel, sand, or dirt into the hole as you want, but the dilemma still remains. You simply can’t seem to fill it, even tho you put in a lot of effort and work, it’s still there. So how can you deal with this dilemma?
The not-fillable hole theory
These past couple of weeks, I have been struggling in a lot of ways with my motivation. I can’t seem to shake this slight feeling of not feeling whole. Something is bothering me even when I know that I do my very best. This description was on my mind every day at the beginning of 2021. I was working out every day, I was following the stock market and making money. Yet I couldn’t seem to get rid of the feeling, the feeling of emptiness. I was trying everything to fill an emptiness that was not fillable.
You are probably asking me. How can you fill this hole then? So I am going to answer that with a controversial answer. You can not fill the hole, because it is unfillable. No matter what you do, you can’t fill the hole, it is simply impossible. And believe it or not, realizing this is one of the steps to actually getting rid of this feeling. As some of you probably have understood by now, if you can’t fill the hole, you need to cover it. By covering it, I don’t mean putting feelings aside or keeping them to yourself. Because pushing the feelings down won’t make them go away, rather the opposite, it will only make them worse.
I will break it down for you so you can understand what I mean. As I have stated earlier the hole is not fillable, it is pointless to try filling it, no matter what you do the hole is still there. So what you have to do, is cover the hole. Doing this saves you from using energy trying to fill it. I can speak from experience when I say that using energy and focusing on filling the hole, only brings you harm and suffering. I stepped over my hole when I found my girlfriend, and suddenly the empty feeling was all gone. I moved on and learned from my past. There is a quote that perfectly describes this.
We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them
Imagine the hole as all of your demons and fear, if you try to fill the hole you only feed the demons. You need to lock them up and learn to live as if the hole never existed in the first place. You will feel the emptiness beneath your feet, the demons will scream at you and try to convince you to open up the hole again. The hard part is actually ignoring the fear and ignoring the doubt. The foundation above the hole has to be so strong that no matter what you do, you can not open up the hole again.
I have learned that throughout life, you will encounter many of these holes. Some are bigger than others, while some have a more slippery slope. The point is that if you get stuck behind or wander around each hole, you will never exceed in life. And if you can’t fill them in, the only solution is to cover them up and proceed to the next one. Because the hard reality in life is that around every corner awaits a challenge, a trial you have to succeed to get past. You can draw a link to the staircase I talked about in august. Each hole, each demon, and each fear are steps you need to climb. By laying a foundation above the hole, you can reach and climb the next step. If you do this enough times you will eventually learn that the holes are just small obstacles. They are not significant at all, you will learn to ignore them and learn from them.
The moral of the story is that no matter what we face in life, our ability to overcome challenges is unprecedented. Learning, adapting, and finding a solution to each problem are tasks we have to do if we want to stay in the “game called life”. If you dwindle behind each setback or negative experience, I can guarantee that you will be there for the rest of your life.
The hole is a test, a test to see if we are capable of handling the life waiting on the other side. No matter what you go through in life, you can relate to “the not-fillable theory”. You will always hit hard parts in life, but it’s through hard times we grow the most. So go and build that foundation, step over the hole and explore the next chapter in life. You will miss every shot you do not take, therefore it’s worth doing the work to get over the hole. Keep on moving, keep climbing, and keep the faith.
Learn, adapt and explore is the motto we all should live by. Join me in covering the holes and exploring life, because we only live once, so why not make the most of it?